Realization
by TheSkandranon
Summary: Sebell comes to realize his feelings for Menolly


Sebell walked along the Harper Hall's hallway towards the dining hall. He had just finished reporting to Master Robinton after returning from one of his journeys to the coast of the Ista islands. Things had gotten restless down there, being isolated as they are from the rest of the continent. But that is to be expected, and it wasn't anything serious, yet.

His stomach rumbling interrupted his train of thought, and he quickened his stride to the dining hall. He stood at one of the oval tables for the journeymen, and looked for his friend Talmor. He was slightly surprised when he saw him. He was laughing and joking with another journeyman, or else journeywoman in this case. Menolly was laughing back with him too. Then Master Robinton came in and everyone sat, making it too late to change tables to sit with them.

He was rather disappointed really; he wanted a chance to talk to his friends after such a long journey. True tomorrow morning he and they will be able to practice with Master Domick for their quartet, but that won't leave time to talk and relax. He had hoped to be able to catch up with all the news with them. Learn what songs Menolly had written in the fortnight he was gone, if Talmor made any headway to becoming a master harper, or what tricks that young scamp Piemur had gotten himself into. The best one to ask about that last one was Menolly.

He sighed and started to eat the mashed tubers that were before him with 4 slices of werry meat and red fruit juice. He was rather disappointed that they have failed to notice that he was back. Are they really that oblivious to anyone else besides themselves?

That thought froze him, and then he looked over at them again. Talmor was leaning forward to whisper something into Menolly's ear and she leaned her head back and laughed as Talmor laughed again. They did seem to get along very well. Is there something more than friendship between the two of them? Had they become lovers while he was gone? The thought made him slightly sick, but wasn't sure why. He just wanted to protect Menolly from being hurt, at least that is what he told himself. He couldn't think of anything else really.

After the meal was done and everyone got up, Menolly finally looked around and noticed him. He was glad to see that her face lit with happiness and started to make her way towards him. He smiled slightly and waited for her.

"Sebell," she said. "Glad to see you're home. Now we can really get going on our quartet."

He didn't let his disappointment at that statement show on his face. Is that all she thought of him as? Someone to play music with? He hoped she thought of him at least as a friend. At least she knew better than to ask where he had been and what he was up to. He wouldn't have been able to tell her since it was a secret mission that Master Robinton sent him on.

"Good to be back, what have you been up to while I was away?"

"Oh, nothing much, it's been rather dull here really."

"Life is never dull in the Harper Hall, new surprises pop up all the time."

"True, but not lately. But now that you're here, maybe things will pick up again," she smiled at him.

He wondered if she really thought he livened the place up, or if she's just being polite. But then she was never the type to just say things like that if she didn't mean it, so he felt a little better. "What about your music? Have you written anything new?

"Not anything since you left. There really hasn't been anything to inspire me."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

They continue along that line of pleasantries with Sebell feeling glad he didn't miss her next song. He hoped that she would write her next one while he was still here.

Over the next few days he was able to practice the new music that Master Domick wrote in their quartet comprising of Domick, Talmor, Menolly, and himself. He really enjoyed these times as it offers insights to the others, especially Menolly. She really shined when she was playing music that was difficult and unfamiliar to her. She was always enthusiastic and able to play anything thrown at her since her hand was repaired after the horrible healing her family forced upon her, hoping to prevent her from playing music ever again.

After a few weeks Master Robinton called him and Menolly into his office to send them on a mission. He was a little apprehensive about this one, on several levels. First of all, he worked best alone, another person meant more interference, another mouth to feed along the way, and an interruption to peace and quiet. Second of all, Menolly was well known most anywhere, and this was a spy mission. And third of all, and this one is the most disconcerting of all, they were traveling as husband and wife.

He had never even thought of such a possibility. He was still just a Journeyman and as such wouldn't really be able to support a wife and family. Also, this is Menolly he was talking about; yes he liked her as a friend. But that is all he ever really thought of her. His best friend, yes. But his wife? No, no, no, that is too much. But his master ordered it, and he shall comply.

As he and Menolly traveled, he stayed uncommonly quiet, a little uncomfortable. She tried to engage some kind of conversation, but he replied in one or two word sentences, or noncommittal grunts. She looked at him puzzled, but then turned to look ahead and was silent.

They didn't talk till night when they stopped and made camp by the road. Then they prepared dinner and talked over a plan for their mission. They didn't accomplish much because a lot of this was going to be spur of the moment since what they did depended on the reactions of the people they will interact with.

After they were done, and the fire was small, Menolly looked at him with concern in her eyes, "Sebell, what's wrong? You've been quiet and sullen today. Is there something bothering you?"

"No, it's nothing to worry about." He thought quickly, "I sometimes am this way at the start of a mission, I'll be better tomorrow," he lied quickly, hoping it will satisfy her.

She looked at him carefully for a few seconds, then said carefully, "Alright then, but if you want to talk to someone, I'm here to listen."

"I know, thank you. But I promise I'm alright," he smiled what he hoped was a convincing smile and she smiled hesitantly back.

"Well, I'm going to sleep; we'll need to wake up early tomorrow. Good night Sebell"

"Good night Menolly, sleep well."

She lied down on her back and went to sleep after a few minutes.

He continued to sit up thinking for a while. He wanted to calm himself so that he wouldn't have been lying to her when he said he'd be better tomorrow. Why was he so flustered about him and her traveling together? They have traveled to other holds before to play at gathers; they've even traveled alone sometimes. So why all anxious now?

He looked over at her sleeping form, and saw that she had turned towards him in her sleep. The dying firelight danced across her face and it occurred to him how beautiful she was. Her hair framed her face and fell across her neck enveloping her face in an orange frame.

Wait! What was he thinking? All of a sudden saying she was beautiful, and thinking such thoughts, what was he doing? Did… did…. did he like Menolly? He then really looked at her, and really looked into himself. Then he realized how much he missed her when he went off on his journeying, how he looked forward to coming back to the Hall just so he could see her, and play music together. The time he came home and saw her and Talmor eating and laughing together, he realized he was jealous and scared that they had become more than just friends.

He slowly moved his hand closer to her and gently caressed her face, when she stirred a little, he pulled back his hand, then realized she had a slight smile on her face and found himself smiling in return.

Then he laid down across the fire from her and fell asleep looking at her.

The next morning when they were packing up camp Menolly asked him, "So, are you feeling better?"

He smiled a true smile to reassure her, "Yes, I'm feeling a lot better. I told you I would be."


End file.
